This Na Temptation! (225.6 lbs)

Ok... as a bigger person in life, I am certainly not a newbie to the idea of temptation. Some people are tempted to sleep with the wrong person, while some others are tempted to steal or cheat or lie. I mostly get tempted with food; And only at the wrong times. This weekend started with me having 5 people hang out at my apartment, friday night. Everyone knows I love to cook and happen to cook well (thank God) but this means they always expect good and yummy food in my house at all times. Needless to say, I went off track with my diet and ate a small but wrong bowl of rice and stew (my diet encourages brown rice not yummy white rice). Not just any kind of stew, palm oil stew is my masterpiece. I felt soooooooo horrible and disappointed in myself and so I prayed and tried working out a tiny bit.

Then came Saturday; I went against my diet, which encourages me to eat 5 small and extremely healthy/balanced meals each day. I barely ate anything, just a bag of carrots and a yogurt for the first half of the day. Then a friend asked me to go out a sample a prospective birthday location and I broke; It was the beginning of the end (end of a dieting day) I ended the night with a little bowl of jollof rice and efo... Then comes the upside, the rest of my night was spent dancing the night away at an igbo party. I was worried that straying from my diet would have made me gain some pounds back, because lord knows I can gain 3 pounds in a day. I ended up losing 0.2 pounds over the weekend.

Lessons learnt? We all get tempted. It really is all about portioning and moderation, I just need to behave myself and get better with eating regularly so I don't binge. Most importantly, working out is good but doing active things you enjoy is even better... By the time I spent 2 hours attempting the Igbo woman booty shake..lol.... I worked off all the rubbish in between.

Coming Soon - My Very Interesting Conversation at The Restaurant
Also Coming Soon - Partying from the Perspective of a Big Girl... Trust Me, it's Different

Yours Truly,

Buxom Beauty

I Love Me - I Love Me Not!!!!! (227lbs)

When I logged on to the blog today, I did it with the intention of canceling it. Closing it down and trying hard to forget the pain I felt when writing. The one comment I got has egged me on though. I will love myself. I am going to find out ways (because I am a Google addict) and I will start to love myself. I have started doing the Nutrisystem diet as of Tuesday the 16th of February. It's been 2 days and this time I have lost 3 lbs. It feels good but I have definitely begun thinking.

Is it really about the weight? Or again about self esteem and self-love. I remember not too long ago, for about a space of two weeks, I felt invisible....in a good way. I felt gorgeous and sexy and as fit as a fiddle and I am guessing that guys around me could see it too... I got asked out no less than 6 times by totally different people in the span of 2 weeks. It was weird and yet felt great.

I realized after watching Monique's ghetto but fun movie "Phat Girls" last night that if I can't love myself now, who is to say that I will when I lose the weight? If you are out there reading this, and you have ideas or have heard of ideas to begin in self-love? Please pass them on. The few times I have stumbled upon the feeling has done wonders for my life.

Forever Your,

Buxom Beauty

PS (Just a thot)... I recently remembered that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 after watching "Some like it hot"

Rock Bottom - Never Again (230 lbs)

I decided today to begin in writing a blog. I don't really think any one will read this... But I believe it helps to put my feelings down in writing and maybe it will help in making my goal more reachable. Today I reached my heaviest weight ever. I got on the stupid scale and rang in at 230 pounds. I am a 21 year old female at 5ft 4inches. I am Nigerian American and a recent college grad working at one of the top 4 accounting firms in the world.

I have so many times in life where I feel low, hate myself, my image, my weight and all my shortcomings on top of it. But there are times when I feel invisible and happy... maybe even content. Days like today I wish I could simply flip a switch and become anorexic or bulimic, but alas even that, I am not disciplined enough to achieve.

I am tired of being tired.... Tired of being frustrated and sad and in the same place in life. I have decided to do something about this.... weight problem, fatigue, fear of health issues and I am going to lose weight in any way possible.

Game plan: Starting on Monday February 15th, 2010 I will start my Nutrisystem Diet

I will follow the food plan to the tee and incorporate hydroxycut hardcore pills with exercising for a hour 3 times a week. I will lose his weight and live a good life even if I have to die trying.

Yours truly,

Buxom Beauty